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Thanks for this post. As a European I wasn't aware these rules actually existed. I thought they were merely "Hollywood" tropes to have explicit romantic interes

Thanks for this post. As a European I wasn't aware these rules actually existed. I thought they were merely "Hollywood" tropes to have explicit romantic interest in fiction while keeping a G rating.

marincounty 11y ago
These American rules are tedious, time consuming, and just awful. I'm not saying I'm a fan of the hookup. It gets old, and after a certain age; I found myself asking, if he/she does these things with me--what is she/he doing with others? Do I need to make a doctor's appointments? That said, it would be nice to tone down the formalities/games. We have this game in the U.S., and I bet it's still going on. This game is required by both sexes, but more geared towards men. If you really like someone, want to marry that person, would die for this person; how do you go about courting. Be kinda mean, aloof, distant. Never let on just how much you love them. If you breakdown too early and spill all your wants/desires, you might have just blown the whole relationship. We are then stuck with a tedious game. A game that can literally last years. Resentment builds up, and then that wonderful person is finally perusing you. At this point, you don't want them anymore, or that was my experience. I never liked the game, but was guilty of playing it too. (In my younger days, there was this stunning brunette, who would sit on her '89 Toyota 4 x4 tailgate. She would try to time her sitting to my running schedule. She looked like an athletic Winona Ryder. She was sweet, and beautiful. She wanted to date. I avoided her. I felt she was too foreword. Not dating her was one of my biggest errors. I was so stupid. I still can't believe I was so stupid.)
bertil 11y ago
A lot of it might have started that way —French kissing for instance has a complicated and not well documented history of misunderstood euphemisms– but they have influenced culture and expectations. Most people have lived through less relationships and break-ups in real life than they’ve seen in movies.

Thanks for this post. As a European I wasn't aware these rules actually existed. I thought they were merely "Hollywood" tropes to have explicit romantic interest in fiction while keeping a G rating.

marincounty 11y ago

These American rules are tedious, time consuming, and just awful. I'm not saying I'm a fan of the hookup. It gets old, and after a certain age; I found myself asking, if he/she does these things with me--what is she/he doing with others? Do I need to make a doctor's appointments? That said, it would be nice to tone down the formalities/games. We have this game in the U.S., and I bet it's still going on. This game is required by both sexes, but more geared towards men. If you really like someone, want to marry that person, would die for this person; how do you go about courting. Be kinda mean, aloof, distant. Never let on just how much you love them. If you breakdown too early and spill all your wants/desires, you might have just blown the whole relationship. We are then stuck with a tedious game. A game that can literally last years. Resentment builds up, and then that wonderful person is finally perusing you. At this point, you don't want them anymore, or that was my experience. I never liked the game, but was guilty of playing it too. (In my younger days, there was this stunning brunette, who would sit on her '89 Toyota 4 x4 tailgate. She would try to time her sitting to my running schedule. She looked like an athletic Winona Ryder. She was sweet, and beautiful. She wanted to date. I avoided her. I felt she was too foreword. Not dating her was one of my biggest errors. I was so stupid. I still can't believe I was so stupid.)

bertil 11y ago

A lot of it might have started that way —French kissing for instance has a complicated and not well documented history of misunderstood euphemisms– but they have influenced culture and expectations. Most people have lived through less relationships and break-ups in real life than they’ve seen in movies.