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The "pressure" for these women to find their ideal spouse is similar to the "pressure" startups face in finding ideal employees. That is, they want the absolute
by FD3SA 11y ago
The "pressure" for these women to find their ideal spouse is similar to the "pressure" startups face in finding ideal employees. That is, they want the absolute best at rock bottom prices.
If you read the article, many of these women who desired to get married had numerous suitors, but these suitors were judged unfit for one reason or another and thus failed to meet the women's strict requirements. Much like companies wanting to hire 100x developers at 30$ an hour, these women are unfortunately trying to bend the supply/demand curves to their tastes, rather than working within the reality of the market.
As an aside, marriage as an institution in western societies is now a legal quagmire [1]. It's legal roots were laid down in times when women did not earn much and did not vote, so they were paid very generously in case of a divorce whose fault could be proven. Nowadays, divorce is the single most powerful legal instrument to take half of someone's net worth without any reason whatsoever. Marriage as an institution is beyond repair, and any couple who supports the spirit of family unity should boycott legal marriage for their own sake, as it leads to extremely toxic financial incentives for the lower earning spouse.
Just another case study in man-made systems which are patched and reworked continuously without thought to the designer's original intent.
1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZTOT6DKfZ8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZTOT6DKfZ8
- rodgerd 11y ago> If you read the article, many of these women who desired to get married had numerous suitors, but these suitors were judged unfit for one reason or another and thus failed to meet the women's strict requirements In traditional societies where marriage is a one-shot that generally ends a woman's career prospects (or, one could argue, shunts them into being a wife), this is entirely rational behaviour. If you were only allowed to pick one job when you left university, and couldn't resign and get a new one, you'd give suggestions you lock yourself into McDonalds the short shrift.
- WalterSear 11y agoNot if you end up without a job.
- itsybitsycoder 11y agoWell, for how long? Not all the job offers come in at the same time. If your only offer so far is McD's, it might be worth it to do some extra job training for a year to be a more attractive candidate and then see how things go after that. Even though it's another year of unemployment. There are actually "wife skills" classes you can take in these countries, I just saw one from India the other day. Offered to cover everything from cooking and cleaning to beauty to party planning.
- FD3SA 11y agoThis is a very deep topic, but in summary, I believe the difficulty for women looking to marry in this day and age actually has more to do with the supply side. Marriage is a terrible, terrible decision for any individual with above average income or assets. Given that most people who get married want to have kids, and because of biology women usually need to be the ones to take maternity leave, this creates an imbalance in earning power that only intensifies throughout the length of the marriage. As a result, the lower earning spouse has an increasingly larger financial incentive to initiate a divorce. Note that this incentive is completely independent of the relationship between the spouses, because of the way marital assets are divided after a no-fault divorce. Even in the happiest marriage imaginable, if there's any income/wealth disparity, the spouse on the low end has a massive economic incentive to initiate divorce for a payout. This is why I said in my first post that marriage is an inherently broken institution, and needs serious reform. Incentives matter.